Monday, March 27, 2006 @ 1:23 AM
heartache
Well. He told mi that, he wants to leave mi because we are having communication breakdowns, and i'm still "young" in thoughts, not able to walk the road of life with him yet.

It's been 3 days. I had been pondering if we really having communication breakdowns & i'm still immatured in thoughts. Ok, in a way yes. For the communication breakdown part. Coz he hardly calls, only like once or twice a mth. And usually we chat up in MSN & exchanging SMSes. But that's not enough perhaps. Coz it's not a healthy relationship. Couples shld go out dating & feeling comfortable with each presence + intimacy. That's why everybody say it's difficult to maintain a long distance relationship. Which i really do agree now. No matter what, at least i know my feeling's to him is real & sincere.

We were engaged in arguements over in SMS, due that i'm saying i'll be out partying for the weekend. And i dun see it as a big issue. And to mi, it's just excuses that he wanna dump mi. I was feeling so upset, and cried for the whole afternoon on Fri. It really hurts mi alot, and i think the passion & enthusiastic of love towards him, had died inside my heart. All along i thought he will be the perfect man for mi. I was wrong. So wrong.

My heart's broken into million of pieces by now. No more tears to shed anymore. I decided to give up my love for him. For i am feeling so pain & crying my eyes out. On the other hand, what is he doing? Perhaps working or out with his colleagues, still smiling & enjoying, like normal daily lifestyle. Perhaps he didn't even feel a shit. So why shld i make myself so miserable? Time will heal my wounded heart. I know i can move on. I really really fucking hope i can.

I wish him all the best in his career :) And hopes that he can be happier...living life without mi..



P.S: Dear god. Please. I just wanna be happy.. that's all i'm praying for.......